Former Laois footballer Kieran Lillis. Photo by Tyler Miller/Sportsfile
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By Cian O’Connell
“It has definitely been a challenge,” former Laois footballer Kieran Lillis says about not being a senior inter-county footballer.
This is Lillis’ first year in a decade and a half not being involved in Laois. “When you spend so much time and nearly tie a lot of your identity to being a county footballer, when you eventually call it a day, it takes an awful lot of adjusting,” Lillis acknowledges.
“It has been difficult, for sure, but I've been able to focus on other areas and that has been key to dealing with it or softening the blow as much as possible. I've been focusing on career or even rekindling some relationships.
“You've to put a lot of sacrifices in when you're an inter-county player, you've to be selfish in lots of ways. Friend groups take a back seat an awful lot, so it has given me time to spend on friends and relationships again.”
So, did Lillis attend Laois matches in 2025 and what was that like, having invested so much time, effort, and energy during his playing days? “It was a strange one, I was mad to go to games at the start of the year,” Lillis remarks.
“I went to a few challenge games that Laois had, I went to their first league game, and I did find it hard to watch on. So, I gave myself a back seat, I didn't go to as many games. I probably just stayed at home, watching a few on the telly, general games, not the Laois ones. I'd always be drawn to see how they got on, the results and that stuff.
“I suppose I was trying to peel my identity away from just a footballer and a football person. That was key, a few holidays in between and a few days out or whatever. I wouldn't say they distracted me, they just took my attention from other areas.”
The GAA collaborates with the Men’s Health Forum Ireland, who continue to organise a range of activities throughout the country. International Men’s Health Week is on between June 9 and 15.
Lillis delivered for Laois, but did he always strike a good balance between sport, work, and friendships? “At the start, the blunt answer would be no,” Lillis responds.
“My mood was determined by how I was doing on a football field which is mad to think. Whether it was a good training or a result of a game, something like that, it would've determined my outlook on life or my mindset for the week.
Kieran Lillis in action for Portlaoise against Portarlington in the 2024 Laois SFC Final. Photo by Tom Beary/Sportsfile
“Whether it was trying to dig in the heels to be better or else just being angry over performance or else the opposite way, being really because of a performance.
“I'm lucky, my wife, who has been with me for 15 years, 100 per cent of my inter-county career, and is great for me, she is not purely invested in football. She respects it, she loves seeing me play, but coming home she'd be quick to refocus me and try to get me back into the swing of life, that it wasn't life or death. More important things are going on.
“That was lucky for me. Over time, surrounding myself with good people, who were able to achieve on and off the field. Even educating myself in terms of how the best players and best performers act. They've that balance in their lives.
“So, I did try to focus on balance an awful lot more with my lifestyle and my decisions as I got near the end of my inter-county career.”
Lillis acknowledges the importance of conversations in helping to find solutions to problems. “I remember one day, in particular, we played Fermanagh in the last league game of the year,” he says.
“We were beaten. I remember coming back from that trip and I was miserable. A day later, I said there isn't any more Fermanagh trips that I can allow myself. It isn't good for my own head. It isn't good for the people around me.
"They're giving me this space. It isn't a good way of living. I really had to go to do a bit of soul searching, to talk to good people about trying to reframe my mindset and trying to put perspective on football. It is very hard to do when you're in that bubble for so long.
“It really does determine your personality. There is an awful lot of good traits associated with it, but that was just one of the negative ones I battled with an awful lot.”
Undoubtedly, sport can bring pleasure, but pain is experienced too. Challenges always exist. “I'm sure an awful lot of players can relate to being dropped or being put on the subs bench,” Lillis explains.
“That is a hard mountain to climb, at times. A team can be doing really well and you're battling these emotions inside your head. You're delighted the team obviously won, but you want more for yourself. You want to be impacting more.
Pearce Dolan, Leitrim, and Kieran Lillis, Laois, in action during the 2024 Allianz Football League Division Four Final at Croke Park. Photo by Ramsey Cardy/Sportsfile
“Towards the end of my career, I was definitely struggling there. Perspective, again. I reached out to the GPA about coaching, that really did help me balance myself and my emotions, to focus on what I can control, not to be worried about results and outputs.”
Off the pitch, Lillis has been ready, willing, and able to try different ventures. It isn’t an easy thing to do. “My natural personality preference is to be optimistic,” Lillis says.
“It has served me well and it has served me not so well, at times. I'm not afraid to try new things. I chase fulfilment an awful lot. I got great fulfilment on the GAA field. For the past few years, I've been saying what really lights me up inside, that I can go after my playing career?
“I'm in a space now where I'm looking at performance and doing mindset coaching. I'm doing leadership facilitation, people management programmes.”
The adventure goes on and the detours are important. “Primary education is my qualification, but I'm dealing in the adult space and the adult performance,” Lillis says.
“It is something that really lights me up and I can relate an awful lot. I can bring a lot of my learnings back from inter-county football and other experiences. That is where I'm coming from.”
Lillis has always tried to keep busy. “I opened a bar and restaurant 10 years ago, ended up closing that, it was difficult times, but I'm very proud of the fact that I can say I did that, and it was a really successful one for a number of years,” he says.
“It is telling myself that I know I've this growth mindset fostered over time, and it is the power of yes. If I don't make it in one area now, but I give a good account of myself, that is a positive experience, not a negative one, regardless of what people say.
“That can be taxing at times, worrying about what people say, worrying what others think and what they're going to say.
“Obviously, I struggled with that, like everyone, but I'm able to override it with an evidence wall or the fact that I've taken steps, being successful in lots of areas. Hopefully, I can continue to write that story.”
