Where to get help

WHERE TO GET HELP

If you have a concern about your own or someone else’s drinking or drug use you may find the information on this page helpful.

IF YOU ARE CONCERNED FOR YOURSELF

It can be very hard to admit to yourself, or anyone else that your use of alcohol or other drugs are causing a problem. Part of you probably knows its true and part of you is probably fighting against the idea. It can be like having a battle going on inside you.

This is normal behaviour as most people don't want to admit to having problems. Admitting to yourself that things are not as you would like them to be can be a big step.

Doing something about it is an even bigger one.

The idea of talking to someone about it may be the last thing that you would want to do but don't write off the idea completely. It can really help to have someone listen to you and help you get back on top of things.

Asking for help can be a scary thing to do. You probably won't want to and will have lots of reasons not to do it. That's ok, most people avoid things that make them feel uncomfortable for as long as they can.

You may know someone who is a good listener and would help if you asked them or you might prefer to talk to someone you don't know who can listen to you from a fresh viewpoint, only you will know that. What matters most is finding a good listener.

The links below will bring you to lists of services all over the country that are experienced in helping people with alcohol or drug problems. Many of them are free and all of them are confidential.

If you think you might need help, it's there for you...

TALKING TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEIR DRINKING OR DRUG USE

It can be very difficult to see someone you care about using alcohol or drugs in a way that is harming them and you may feel unsure about what to do about it. You may feel uncomfortable talking about it with them or worried that it will make things worse instead of better.

The information below has some "Do's" and "Dont's" and may be of help to you in bringing up the subject and seeing it through in a helpful way.

Some "DO's"

• Do listen. When you decide to bring up the subject you might feel like it is your time to talk but it is probably more important that you listen and find out what is going on for them.
• Do talk to the person when he/she is sober. What you have to say will have more impact when they are clear thinking rather than when they are drunk or stoned.
• Do talk about what YOU feel. For example saying something like "I want to talk to you because I am worried about you" or "I don't like to see what's been happening to you lately as you mean a lot to me" are much more likely to be accepted than remarks like, "Everyone's disgusted with you", or, "Mary thinks you have a real problem". These will probably lead to arguments about Mary's problems or who 'everyone' is.
• Do talk about what you have witnessed. Use concrete examples of things that you have seen happening. Use statements that begin with the word "I" as these cannot be disputed so easily. For example, saying someting like "I want to talk to you because I am worried about you" is much more helpful than "John told me he heard you were in a fight".
• Do tell the person what you like about him/her. Emphasise the difference between the behaviour that you like and behaviour that you dislike but be sure to distinguish between the person and the behaviour.
• Do talk about your concerns with other people you trust. You are likely to find that there are others who share the same concerns as you. You may also find that some of them will try to excuse his/her behaviour and want to brush it under the carpet.

Some "DONT's"

• Don't lecture or moralise. Remain factual, listen to their side of the story as they will have reasons for drinking or using drugs like they do.
• Don't be judgmental with them. Their behaviour might not make sense to you but it does to them on some level. The more understanding you are, the more likely they are to talk about why they arebehaving as they are.
• Don't accuse or argue. If they get angry or try to provoke you, remind yourself to remain calm and to stay focused on their drinking or drug use. These can be difficult conversations to have. It is important that you emphasise to him/her that you are doing it because you care.
• Don't give up. If they seem resistant, you can bring it up later or let them know you're there for them if they ever want to talk.
• The links in the table below lists services that are experienced in helping people with alcohol or drug problems. Many of them are free and all of them are confidential.
• If you are going to ask a person under the age of 18 who is not your child about their drug or alcohol use it is good practice to let their parents know in advance.

If you want to find out more about talking to people about their drinking or drug use look at the GAA ‘Club Matters’ DVD on this website. It can also be accessed through your ASAP County Officer or from the ASAP National Coordinator.

Alternatively you can read 'Straight Talk: A Guide for Parents on Teenage Drinking'. It is available from Health Promotion Departments or www.healthinfo.ie. 

To get a breakdown of services available county by county, please click here.